My Goal for Alkemy

The other day I walked past my daughter’s bedroom and she was standing on her bed drilling screws into the wall above her window to hang a curtain rod. That singular sight stopped me dead in my tracks and I was flooded with so many thoughts and emotions. My first thought was visions of her scribbling on the wall as a naughty two year old but then my next thought was, “Why isn’t her Dad doing that for her?” I mean, not because that’s a ‘boy’ job but because he is super handy, that’s what he does. He has remodeled our entire house, so maybe I take for granted that those are things he does and it just made sense to me.

As for the fact of my daughter putting small holes in the wall? That’s her room and she’s free to do whatever she wants with it. I’ve told both my kids that I will only paint once every 7 to 10 years so if they want to change the paint color before that time they’re on their own. Putting small screw holes in the wall is nothing that can’t be patched. So really she wasn’t hurting anything, anyone or potentially herself and she will continue to build confidence while learning how to do something.

She’s the oldest of my two kids, and from the time she was just 12 hours old it was evident that she knew exactly what she wanted. She is the type of person who needs to learn things for herself and in her own way. She asks for my advice, opinion, experience and wisdom, but only to take it into consideration as she figures it out for herself.

She got it in her head that her blinds weren’t doing a good enough job at keeping the light out. I call her my vampire child; she likes her room cold and dark, she stopped napping when she was 26 months old right after her brother was just born and she’s been OBSESSED with vampires since the age of 4 when Alex O’Loughlin played one in a show called Moonlight. Anyway, she drove herself to Target, picked out some very nice blackout curtains and a curtain rod, paid for all of it with her own money and proceed to hang them herself.

That brings me to the next thought or feeling that went through me in the one second it took for me to pass her doorway – sadness and fear. She’s growing up and doesn’t need her Dad or I for much if anything anymore. At 17, I only have her for another 18 months before she graduates and goes off to college. I don’t even like to think about it, much less write about it.

Before I could even indulge a minute of self pity because my daughter was growing up and didn’t need me, I was reminded of all the things she still needs me for like someone to listen when she talks about things that bother her or scare her, her big dreams or when she’s seeking my advice or opinion for her consideration. I also realized in that moment that she felt confident and empowered enough to even go out and buy the curtains let alone hang them herself without asking for help. I’m not usually one to take credit for the actions or successes of others, but I’m going to own this one. Together, her Dad and I have created an environment where she feels safe to try things, we’ve encouraged her to do things for herself and that has fostered in her confidence. Just knowing that I played even the smallest part in giving that to her fills me with absolute joy.

Which brings me to my goal for Alkemy, may you through our work together find the courage to nail holes in the walls you want. It is to bring out what you already have in you; allowing you to transform into the best version of yourself. Bringing out the positive always and in all ways and empowering you to pay it forward, thereby transforming the world, one person at a time. When we help people see that the best version of themselves is possible, then we make the world better.

“Now if you know what makes one person’s life change, then you know what makes a nation change – because a nation is simply a large group of individuals.” ~ Marianne Williamson